Why am I writing?

One lunch time, a few weeks before the end of term and when I was around 30 weeks pregnant, some of the girls in my Year 6 class stayed behind to help me tidy up. We were busy discussing next year (big for both of us!) when Ella suddenly said, “Miss, you and your baby and your husband should be youtubers!” I burst out laughing at the idea and didn’t think about it again until the other day.

It was around 11pm and I was sat alone in my bedroom, feeding my 7 week old baby and painstakingly turning the mixture of thoughts and hastily typed notes on my iPhone into my first ever post. I had signed up to wordpress just minutes before and there I was: blogging. Something I’d always dreaded the idea of (it’s amazing how many people suggest you start a blog when you have a baby).

So why was I doing it?  Did I think I was suddenly interesting enough? Do I have something different to say? Or is it just because everyone else does? Maybe. But the main reason I was writing was (genuinely) for me. Becoming a mum is the craziest, most exciting, most terrifying thing I’ve ever done and it all began with a  – pretty difficult –  birth. Sitting in that bed, writing, feeding and crying, I felt the happiest I had done in ages and all it took was 500 odd words and a free subscription.

So no, I won’t ever be a youtuber. I don’t necessarily have anything new to say and I’m pretty sure I’m not interesting, or young, enough anyway. (Although bizarrely I am younger than Joe Sugg, which I’m sure says more about him than me.) But every so often I will add a little post or two here, and if someone reads it then great. If not, it doesn’t matter, it’s mostly shit but it’ll make me smile anyway.